rnackenzie:

its hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you

perchu:

you could read this from right to left or left to right and it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter

perchu:

you could read this from right to left or left to right and it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse; But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.
Anonymous

oh-those-dead-frenchboys:

swinging-onthe-spiral:

iguanamouth:

image

image

I’VE SEEN THIS POST FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS AND JUST NOW GOT THE JOKE.

MOTHER FU-

MY GOD

theglasschild:

do you ever cook something in the microwave but it’s still really cold in the middle and you just keep eating it instead of heating it longer because life is pointless and entropy is unavoidable and the universe is filled with callous and casual destruction

babywhip:

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.
According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.
Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

How many is a Brazilian

babywhip:

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.

According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.

Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

How many is a Brazilian

wholecracker:

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

What

mattyofshadow:

deluxesherlock:

bacon-lettuce-and-timmyturner:

fineas-and-pherb:

Best backstory. (x)

You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.

whA T

NO BUT THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY PHINEAS IS SO INVENTIVE OH MY GOD